be warned: the geek in me is unleashed

i felt so shiok! after my pragmatics module. i havent felt that i have done my best for a paper in a long time, not even in the practice-10-yr-series-sure-get-distinction days of "O" and "A" levels. i don't think there's any way in which the quality of my answers can be improved.

it's so sickening how we always perceive the worth of our performance during exams in terms of the actual grades we would get in the end.

it's far easier to get excellent grades for some stoopid assignment that you couldnt care less about than to derive lots of satisfaction and pride from an assignment that you felt that much of your potential is achieved. and regardless of the grade i would receive from my second assignment, i have always maintained that the satisfaction i have derived would be enough to sustain me and keep me contented.

am i hypocritical in proclaiming that i don't give a darn about grades and refuse to be honest about my ambitions? or just sadly deluded and naive and idealistic?

okay, it's hard to practice what i preach at this stage because during this semester, i have gotten top-notch grades for the assignments that i have enjoyed (gasp!) doing.

don't even ask me about my days in sci fac. during those days, i was a walking zombie, just hoping that time would pass much much faster and i could fuck off and move on to something else

i guess i shall see...exam results released on 18th dec...

p/s: i spotted at least a half question correctly in 2 other EL modules. there's a high success rate--3 out of 4 EL modules!

william, my JC classmate, lazed throughout his entire two yrs in AJ. he half-heartedly studied during the crunch time for the "A". he wrote 6 pages on elasticity of demand for his Econs paper because he was adamant that he should strive for perfection for at least that question.

really dumb behaviour. william has always held radical, non-conventional views of the world around him but how can he willingly and consciously dig a shithole during the all-mighty "A" and throw himself into it?

to relate back to my other 2 modules, well, i spent too much time on the Question i had spotted and didn't have enough time to develop my other question more fully.

i understand how william was thinking and feeling then. because darn it, it's not like i can spot questions correctly during exams and heaven forbid me if i don't spend more time trying to prepare a more substantial answer. if this means that my answer for the other question is horribly superficial and hence this sort of behaviour would hurt my chances of getting an overall good grade, then so be it.

yes, i am overgeneralizing but it's quite scary to think that i may be 5 years behind william in terms of emotional maturity