1st full week in 46SAR/HQ/S1 branch

2nd 12km run was better. at least, didn't feel like vomitting! though i somehow strained my calf or whatsoever and had to half-limp my way back during the last 2 or 3km. it's disgusting and alarming how my fitness has deteriorated

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was audience to a surprisingly intellectual discussion (becos one just doesn't talk about such things. and certainly doesn't expect to do so in lethargy-inducing NS). Chris remarked how he might step forward to point out flaws in the NS system after he ORDs, without fear of any repercussions for himself. Kelvin questioned why would he be sufficiently motivated to do so when he's already out of the system and won't benefit from any improvements made? then, they started discussing about the psyche of the Singaporean people, how we are conditioned to hanker after narrow manifestations of success (read: acquire material possessions), how young Singaporeans blindly tread the path towards attaining an university degree without knowing why they are there and what they really want from life, how pessimistic Kelvin feels about the future of Singapore, how nerdy overseas scholars are supposed to lead the nation, how apathetic we are yadda dadda.
seems like a melancholic chat but it was really cool to hear my fellow Singaporeans' candid and thought-provoking opinions about our society. not that whining about how much shit we take from work/school isn't legitimate. but it's refreshing to hear something different for once, to listen to them transend beyond our pathetic existance and talk about broader issues. guess being in NS helped since it's easier to detach military life away from the remnants of our personal lives

Is the average Singaporean grossly unhappy?

I'm glad to call Singapore my home. is it politically incorrect to admit that?

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tend to stammer when i speak to my superiors. i try to be unflappable but can't help feeling anxious that i would kena fucked. was quite surprised when i found myself feeling so high after working on my RSM's powerpoint slides in his office. being able to hear FM93.3 is one enormously appealing factor (we can't listen to radio in S1 branch and yes, my RSM is hip!). but i realised that it's the sense of normalcy of civilian behaviour that my very very nice (but buey kan, according to changsheng) RSM retains about him that allows me to feel totally relaxed. i can afford to be myself when i'm with him. hell, he even bought and brought me tea from the canteen!

becos of the way he makes me feel at ease, i will gladly do any dirty job (refrained from saying sia kang becos my CO doesn't like it) for him

will i ever understand why some army regulars are so harped on about rank?