yesterday's mood triggers

an ode to Mon, 16/8/04

felt fucking moody

between $600/stay-in NS n $350/stay-out NS, which option would u pick?
i wasn't sure at first and didn't think i could ever come to a resolution but my preference became obvious yesterday. i value freedom too much. now that i have had the opportunity to travel a few places, it seems a harsh n bitter pill to take when i have to be imprisoned in a god-forsaken camp for five-n-a-half days per week

felt excited

when changsheng smsed me with the "bad" news that our unit is the pioneer batch to train in India next feb n it seems that we all would have to go. sorry matey but you have chosen the wrong audience for mutual lamenting. i am non-discriminatory when i say i wanna travel around the world. so if tis NS stint will put another destination on my been-there-done-that travel list, then hell ya

felt gan dong

for no apparent reason actually but i was quite overwhelmed when i found my cheong sua gloves unexpectedly in my four-year-old's army mess. i never moved outfield without my trusty gloves; i would feel naked without them. amazing how man attaches sentiment to the weirdest things but it's real cool to see them again

felt thrilled

when i checked my email and found out that Hui Ling, at least, has been toying with the idea of becoming a leader/facilitator (see below post). í'm not sure if i'm feeling that need for follow-in-my-footsteps gratification kind of validation but i guess it must mean that i have done something right after all if my participants want to take up leadership roles for YEP. so, i spent two hours writing that email becos i wanted to sound encouraging without being patronising. Also, i wanted to draw from my own experience without drawing attention to myself becos i didn't want to seem as if i were fishing for compliments. an email that will keep it real and not lose the optimistic touch

felt energtic

when i saw my Thai host Pi Noy's email about this english forum that she's setting up for us. she wrote a short paragraph about the mission of her organization and i felt galvanized into action to do something more for her, to help her create more awareness. also, i read this posting by a Korean who visited Dekrakpha 4 years ago and i felt hopeful that my guan xi with Pi Jued and Pi Noy needn't run its course now that my YEP is over. perhaps i have been wasting time n web space with my convoluted crap of lamenting the fragility of friendships. Keep things simple lar!