Leaving Cheaply But Well

Armed with two bags, I came to stay in a Thai village for three weeks with twenty other friends.

There, I took unhurried stares at the sky and land but still couldn't believe that the vibrantly-tinted scenery was real. Surely, such perfection only existed in the backdrop of your kindergarten photos as you smile awkwardly at the camera.

There, I watched the kids flaunt their carefree childhood as they climbed trees, hunted for tadpoles, took a dip in a muddy pool, played soccer and did all the things that's bound to mesmerize an urban dweller and steal her/his heart away. Sometimes, I silently watched. Other times, I tried to converse with them in whatever Thai I could muster. Always, my attention was undivided.

There, I formed a connection with the locals, simply by drinking whisky and singing "Loy Kratong" with them.

There, I chatted with my friends way into the wee hours of the night. We exchanged ancedotes about delightful events that occured during the day and reminisced about the collective memories we had made earlier in the trip.

Needless to say, I was happy and contented

Since my return to Singapore, a sense of urgency perpetually haunts me as I desire to do many things, all at the same time. I should probably start watching the DVDs that I have previously borrowed from friends? But there's this fantastic CD that I have to listen to. Hey, darn, I ought to rest since I would die if I miss today's Euro matches again. Hmmm, perhaps a quick reconcilitation with my computer (and Internet access!) before I nap though?

I am not as happy.

I learned that I wasn't necessarily deprived when I crammed my life's possessions into two bags. I learned that an abundance of material stuff just clogs up my void but does little to satisfy it. I need to catch my breath from all the nauseatingly-diverse range of gadgets available. No mood to stand and stare. No luxury to engage in humanity. Just a never-ending need to spend ME time because I have to take my turn with all my gadgets

I lived cheaply but well in Thailand. I guess I can't possibly live cheaply in Singapore because I am immersed in a different socio-cultural environment after all. So the trick would be to live well in my homeland, with realisation gleaned (and hopefully internalised) from Thailand.