that i was taking a listening comprehension exam in which we had to listen to songs twice, decipher their lyrics and then write them down on the answer booklet. the heading was "Proficiencies in.." and a list of song titles followed
i was franatically scribbling down whatever i could catch via pencil, vaguely indignant that i was seated on the extreme left of the classroom and that the people on the extreme right (where the radio was placed) would have a competitive advantage
a bespectacled gal chose to leave before the exam was over. as she walked away from our line of sight, i heard a horrified gasp from florence and had to smile
i then heard "Sheng Ming Guo Ke" coming up. Confident that I die-die also know the lyrics to that song, I tried to fill in the gaps for the other songs. other people, including sharon au, decided to leave also. As i was sitting in the front row, I kinda got a peek at her answers and panicked. she had nice one-sentence answers to her questions while i thought that we should reproduce the song lyrics, word-for-word
it was nearing the end of the exam and i hastily tried to complete 2 other sections in that paper. One required the candidate to fill in the correct preposition and the other required him to decide whether the pronunication highlighted in the questions was correct. An example of a question was "loony tuna" (vs "loony tune")
finally i woke up and wished that i had remembered other song titles as well. and thought that this was one test i wouldnt mind taking in real life
As I dragged my feet up the escalator to the local Popular bookstore, I was a tad disappointed to find that there was not the slightest hint of a queue forming. But no matter, I hastily paid up and laid my fingers tenderly on the cover of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, vaguely incredulous at this oh-so-surreal experience.
Harry was already busily fighting off Dementors in the first chapter and I sat back, gushing inwardly, “There’s already a climax in chapter 1!” and eager to catch up on what has been denied to me so far. As the reader no doubt speeds through the pages, he learns that Harry isn’t the Harry we are familiar with, the Harry who is resourceful and never loses his cool under extreme pressure, the Harry that us lesser mortals wish to emulate as we deal with our more simplistic pressures of modern living. Alas, our Harry is a mere mortal after all—we read of him feeling angry, frustrated, hurt and even betrayed at being isolated from the rest of the wizarding world at Privet Drive. And that unfortunately sets the tone for the rest of the book. Throughout the book, Harry snaps every so often at Ron and Hermione that he seems this grouchy spoiled brat and not-so-adorable any more.
Harry now sports an Adam’s apple however and fans will be likely to excuse his behaviour by attributing it to the usual angst-filled expression of adolescence trials. In fact, this seems to be a line of reasoning J.K.Rowling may be pushing herself—she has written so many times about Harry feeling his throbbing heart stuck behind his Adam’s apple that this description now seems silly and tired. In addition, Harry has had the most horrible semester at Hogwarts to date. The new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Dolores Umbridge, is a watchdog from the Ministry of Magic and brutally tortures Harry at detention sessions for being a “liar”. After having come into authority, she submits him to a lifelong ban against playing Quidditch. Harry also has to take extra lessons from Professor Snape, the unpopular Potions Master at Professor Dumbledore’s request. Coupled with the stress of taking his Ordinary Wizarding Levels and trying to gain greater insights into a girl’s heart (namely, Cho Chang), Harry has more on his plate to deal with than is fair and readers are bound to feel sympathetic.
So how are Ron and Hermione dealing with this side of Harry? His two sidekicks offer us two drastically different perspectives as to what it means to be a good friend. Hermione impresses readers with her shrewd and astute insights into human nature and has been a calming balm for Harry and for us in general. Apart from setting his doubts to rest about Cho Chang’s intentions, (which is, by the way, a wonderful distraction from the main plot), she persistently tries to make Harry come around when she feels he is getting too rash and reckless for his own good. She has always been able to substantiate herself with good sound arguments and has never hesitated to speak her mind, even when she realizes that it’s all pointless and that Harry and perhaps even Ron won’t appreciate it. Plus she doesn’t give up convincing Harry until the last moment. Lesson 1: A true friend will never deny you his/her truth
On the other hand, Ron may on surface pale in comparison to Hermione’s aggressive reminders and reprimands. We see him balking when Hermione hisses. We see him throwing discreet glances at Harry and telling Hermione to cool it. We are not so sure about how he feels exactly about Harry’s suicidal ventures but we do know that he realizes Harry is resolute and hence, he won’t interfere. We can surely relate as to why Harry regards Ron as his greatest buddy—we all want Ron to be quietly there for us even when the rest of the world thinks that we have gone bonkers. And we welcome such exhibition of unwavering support. Lesson 2: A true friend is willing to give you the space to do whatever you desire.
Book 5 may finally shed some light on me as to why I adore Harry so much. Amidst Hermione’s persistent persuasion and Harry’s stony silence, I reckoned that Hermione being pragmatic and rational and logical is precisely the reason why she isn’t the main lead. Hermione has the uncanny ability to size up a situation and decide upon the best approach to deal with it. I admire her for being able to showcase self-control and restraint at these times. But alas, such noteworthy qualities aren’t what make a lead character. Harry, for instance, has this annoying habit of putting his foot in his mouth and his readers are sometimes (unnecessarily, I feel) aggrieved to learn of his latest misadventure under Umbridge. Also, he hasn’t reached the emotional maturity to not embark on potentially harmful and dangerous ventures yet. But his impulsiveness and recklessness are exactly the qualities that endear him to us. We ache for this tormented character who has routinely faced ridicule and scandal but remains strongly defiant. We appreciate a character who isn’t going to sit back and watch his world crumble around him. Or in the case of Book 5, we root for a character who isn’t afraid of seeking answers that may distort the favourable impression he has of his father. And silently wonder in awe whether we would have the courage to do likewise ourselves.
Which is why I was pretty upset when I found out the identity of the character who perished. (For a long time, I had my money banked on Hagrid). How can J.K.Rowling do this to Harry?!, I exclaimed in indignation. I now beg to differ from people who have hailed the series as escapist pleasure for adults. How can it be so when Harry, who has suffered so much for so long, is now denied the possibility of future euphoria with this character?
I read today, as of 28/6/03, that Harry Potter may not live to adulthood. I hope J.K.Rowling will be kind enough to spare him such a fate. I want to watch him grow up, get married to a wonderful gal (it used to be Cho Chang but I don’t think a relationship between them will materialize now?) and have kids. Such a move will alienate and sadden us readers. Sob
*applause* Special thanks to Swee hoon who has so graciously and kindly rendered help for my thailand trip! She has even gone as far as to ask her sister (who has been to pattaya) and friend (who works in phuket) for answers to my pesky enquires. thanks for taking the trouble, ah bu--muchly appreciated:)
25/6/03 (wed)
felt a bit sorry for my jap sensei today. he was teaching us correct jap grammatical rules in his as-usual-not-so-comprehensible english and mandarin while this gal beside me was engrossed in decorating her notes with doodlings of pop idols' names. i kinda caught him stealing glances at her while he was rambling on and while we were practising conversation later. wondering if he feels compromised and unhappy by his decision of coming over here to teach disinterested teenagers with short attention snaps. whether he feels insulted by them not investing greater efforts in HIS language, especially since watching jap dramas has given me the impression that Japanese males have a proud streak
of course, he has stayed here for 2 decades and i guess he should be past feeling liao?
wasn't so sympathetic though when he adovcated memorising conversations as a vital way to learn jap well. the japanese are indeed pretty rigid in their ways
i got myself a copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix yesterday
i stayed up till 3.30am, miffed that i haven't reached even the half-way mark, then decided that i couldn't stand it any more and rationalised that i probably won't register the news properly since i'm already so darned tired
i scanned the pages to find out which character died in the book
it must be the aftereffects of reading methylorange's weblog. all i could think about is how strange it will appear to him that i am now aching for Harry Potter, a mere character in a children's book (and some would argue, not a very memorable or outstanding character in fact) but that i have usually scarcely cared about my grades. (paramount to securing one's future and dignity and superiority, as gleaned from the pages of his weblog)
it's approaching 12pm now and i haven't asserted my rights as a buyer yet to my brother who is hogging the book. i don't feel particularly anxious to finish the book now. now that i know who died, i dread to find out HOW he died
i guess Harry being this conflicted and tormented guy is precisely the reason why i feel for and root for him so much but i still wish J.K.Rowling had been kinder to him
Thurs (18/6/03)--
came upon the scene of an accident when i was rushing to jap class. feel this morbid urge to record down this incident.
the motorcyclist was bent over, clutching at his helmet and letting off agonised howls from time to time. concerned passers-by tried to help him get up on his feet so that they could feel that they were doing something instead of feeling helpless. which the motorcyclist shoved away all hands, exclaiming "my legs, my legs". i saw this spreading pool of blood blotting the concrete road surface
is this how i will meet my end when i get my bike license? i fear this incident will remain in my consciousness and deter me from getting a license. darn, i wish i weren't a witness
i also exhibited behaviour typical of a product moulded by the Singaporean social reality. i found myself noting down the license plate number of the car, 5255 even though i have never bought 4D and that there were no casualties thankfully
eng tiong, my da ge from NS called me up yesterday, after a hiatus of don't know how many donkey years. it's always nice and flattering to be remembered. after the primary ego boost:P, it's also nice to be able to catch up on his recent happenings
he said he's taking unpaid leave now. he's getting married next April. he thinks of hosting his wedding dinner only when the economy gets better
i guess i should have known better since i know he's working in the hotel industry and all. i think i still have this illusion of my friends gainfully employed, working hard to advance their careers. it struck me hard when i realised i know someone who has been adversely affected by the current economic downturn. friends who just graduated and are trying to land a job don't exactly count?
i don't even know him all that well in the first place but i feel sad for him...it's a little bit overwhelming
Tues (17/6/03)--
met up with dor, zi, hong and fang at dor's house for free bak ku teh lunch! spontaneously rushed to Da Jia Chang to sing karaoke (the soft spot for karaokie reigns here and bonus points for the spontaneity!!). Kena driven down to Geylang to eat beancurd and you tiao
things to note--
1) bus 198 goes to Commonwealth mrt, not Queensway mrt
2) how to spell and pronounce parisimons. how to match my newly acquired knowledge to the fruit. that parisimons taste like papayas (in dor's words). that fang likes them
3) that it was hong's first venture at karaoke and fang's second after her disastrous virgin foray
4) that hong eventually overcame her anxiety and got down to requesting a song. scored points for voluntarily singing something i like! (Wo De Ming Zi by Wu Bai). You go, gal!
5) fang commented how i look very happy when i sing....the swaying of the body to the music and all...i should have been embarrassed but nay, who cares?
6) zi sounded good and manly. would be grossly upstaged by him if i tried to croak similar songs:P hastily switched strategies and sang bo liao dance songs (aka songs that don't require emoting)
7) fang didn't become a convert...in fact, she's more traumatised now. darn!
just a couple incidents i wanna record down for all posterity
Sat (14/6/03)--
I went with 7 sec sch friends to this NTU hostel in which this guy stays during term time...
I dreaded this outing initially because there was all that travelling to suffer through and the eight of us never exactly clicked together as an entity during our time together at AMKSS. i flatter myself by thinking that i know (knew, in some cases) each of them relatively well but i have always been hesitant to call ourselves a clique, since i don't think the guys have ever gotten to know the gals at a more intimate basis and vice versa. and it's not like we have our adolescence days to fall back on since we don't have the same shared experiences in the first place, having studied in different classes and streams.
sometimes, it seems incredulous that we ever got together in the first place, much less still hang out now...
anyway, it was a decent outing, much better than what i dared to expect. i think that for most of the time, we didn't stick to little groups and not interact with the rest liao. and it caught me by surprise that despite having little common ground, the conversation, though not exactly stimulating and engaging, didn't feel stitled either. there were some unusual pairings at times, most notably, kel and yu who were flipping through the newspapers trying to help the latter secure a job
tip: always, always talk about CAPs. a sure-fire way to get people personally involved and hence contribute to the conversation
it felt real good and nice when we were watching mindless TV at the lounge. this must be one of the reasons why some people fall hopelessly in love with hostel life! only, this is better than my experience with my block mates since these are friends i'm watching TV with. when we got around to commenting on the show and offering additional/background information/perspectives, i felt like we were one big family enjoying one another's company very much...
so cheers to one great day! though it intrigues me that while friendships have an annoying tendency to die off, my friend-ships with these people are still sailing in this vast ocean of Life (readers, are you rolling your eyes now? *grins*) and it's interesting to observe how the older we get, the more topics we have to talk about and hence the more comfortable we become with one another. How diversity isn't necessarily a liability for friendships
P/s: i got to know kel is really an ambitious sort. can't decide how i feel about that actually, except that it disturbs me somehow. or more accurately, i don't think i will wanna explore my emotions in a public domain...
i thought i ought not to continue with this weblog thingy since i have kinda reacquainted myself with an acquaintance's online journal, which turned myself off from the whole concept of publishing my thoughts on public domain for the whole world to read. Call me judgemental but some people can really get so absorbed in their empty mundane lives. it's all awfully depressing (been reading Catcher in the Rye and it seems fitting here to use Holden's trademark sentiment)
but i feel the urge to write so i shall expose my own empty existance here for you all to scrutinize and criticise...here goes again...all right, i sold out!
some friends were more excited about me getting into honours. more excited than me, in fact. which kinda overwhelmed me in a very nice way, since i was rather numb about the whole thingy...i guess i don't wanna give in to happiness since things may foul up at the last minute
anyway as i grow older, i find myself obsessing about friendship more. i think that's where knowledge is the pits here since i now worry about whether i am a good friend, whether i stop to really listen while people are speaking, whether i care enough to advance our friendship by sharing myself unreservedly, whether my jokes are too crappy or insensitive or hurtful, whether the stuff i say are intelligent and constructive so that the conversation doesn't seem stilted etc etc
which kinda makes me wonder sometimes since i never worried about such stuff prior to coming across these concepts. am i thinking too much? or have i grown up too late? is this how innocence is lost? is now too late to be a decent friend?
I'm thrilled that my friends are thrilled for me. do i dare to say that i must be doing something right as a friend after all? why would these people, folks that i wanna be associated with, bother otherwise?
decided to get myself a blog after reading Fang's online...i wonder though if this is the usual me doing things on impulse and conveniently neglecting this new venture after the "five minutes itch" is over...i guess time will tell huh?
hmmm, i hope to write things of consequence and of significance. things that really matter. well, i guess we all start off being ambitious initially but i lead such a boring life
i hope not to succumb to my usual whiny overdramatic self that surfaces when i write. dear people, kindly remind me to refrain from such unclassy behaviour if you feel that i am writing pitiful drivel. give me a tight slap on the face man!
i wanna be honest with myself. i don't wanna hide behind beautiful words.
now, let's see whether this thingy will last ah?:)
